Didn't We Almost Have It All
by yintotheyang
Summary: Part 5 of the Living In A Moment series.
1. Fight Night

A/N – This is the fifth part of the Living In A Moment Series. There are only five chapters of this particular night, but I think I got enough angst into the chapters. Thanks for reading and I would love a review!

**Chapter 1 – Fight Night**

Johnny smiled as he saw his beautiful girlfriend come into his hospital room. He missed her and she had only been gone a few hours. He loved seeing her and talking to her and doing anything with her. Of course being in the hospital recovering from a gunshot wound for almost a month had prevented him from doing a lot of things he wanted to do with her.

"Hey, gorgeous," Lulu breathed, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I thought you'd spend the day with your family," Johnny said softly.

"Why would you think that?" Lulu asked.

"It's Thanksgiving," Johnny reminded her. "Most people spend Thanksgiving with their family."

"First," Lulu smiled. "I'm not most people. Second, I wanted to spend the day with you because I didn't want you alone in this hospital."

"I won't be in this hospital too much longer," Johnny replied.

"You're finally being released?" Lulu questioned.

"Next Monday, if I don't suffer a setback," Johnny answered.

Johnny laughed as Lulu squealed and hugged him the best she could. She pulled back and kissed him deeply and he returned the kiss with the same amount of passion. He pulled away breathlessly after a moment and smiled widely.

"I can't wait to really be in your arms again," Lulu whispered.

"I can't wait to hold you," Johnny breathed.

Johnny's physical therapy had gone well, but it had been extensive. The bullet had pierced some nerves and muscles and made using his shoulder almost impossible. He had gone through two more surgeries following the initial one and daily therapy to regain full movement of his shoulder.

"What are you thinking?" Lulu wondered.

"I'm wondering what your place looks like," Johnny smiled. "And thinking that I can actually see for myself."

"It's a strange thought," Lulu mused. "But a good one."

"A really good one," Johnny added. "How sturdy is your bed?"

"Johnny," Lulu blushed.

"I'm just checking," Johnny laughed. "That's an important thing to consider for when I get out of here."

"About when you get out of here," Lulu started. "I was wondering if you had a place to live or if you wanted to move in with me for awhile."

"I have a place," Johnny muttered.

"Well, how did you manage that?" Lulu asked.

"I've had it for awhile," Johnny said vaguely.

"The cabin?" Lulu questioned.

"No," Johnny shook his head.

"Well where?" Lulu wondered.

"Crimson Pointe," Johnny answered.

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Trevor thanked the guard and sat down across from Anthony. His twenty year sentence for attempted murder was basically a life sentence and Anthony had summoned Trevor for a visit. Trevor seemed uncomfortable and Anthony just laughed.

"Why do you look so scared?" Anthony asked.

"I'm just curious as to why you would send for me today of all days," Trevor dodged.

"Can't an old man spend the holiday with a close friend?" Anthony inquired.

"Of course," Trevor replied.

"Good," Anthony smirked. "Unfortunately that's not why I brought you here. I want to know about my son."

"I haven't spoken to John," Trevor responded.

"Why not?" Anthony demanded.

"After Miss Spencer's testimony put you in prison and his continued loyalty to her I didn't see the point," Trevor answered.

"John may be showing loyalty to her now, but his real loyalty will always be to me," Anthony said firmly. "We just need to give him a chance to show that."

"What are you suggesting?" Trevor wondered.

"I want you to go see John," Anthony instructed. "Offer him the business. The money and the power. All he has to do is say yes to the life."

"What about the girl?" Trevor asked. "He's going to want to keep her."

"That's fine," Anthony shrugged. "She'll be killed by an enemy or leave him eventually. I'm not concerned."

"You were concerned enough before to try to kill her in a public place," Trevor reminded him.

"And I learned my lesson," Anthony replied. "She won't get in the way of John's destiny and only if she tries will we deal with her."

"When do you want me to meet with him?" Trevor questioned.

"As soon as possible," Anthony answered. "Just make sure the tramp isn't with him when you speak to him."

"Alright, Tony," Trevor nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"That's it for now," Anthony responded. "You may go."

Trevor nodded again and called for the guard. Anthony watched him leave and smiled to himself. Johnny would come through for him. He believed in his son. He would be true to the family name and his heritage.

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"What do you mean Crimson Pointe?" Lulu demanded.

"Lulu, don't get mad," Johnny soothed.

"Don't get mad," Lulu scoffed. "You're telling me you're moving back to Crimson Pointe which can only mean one thing. When you get out of here, you're taking over your father's business which you've always told me you hated. So either you lied for our entire relationship or something else is happening."

"Lu, I haven't lied to you," Johnny promised.

"Then what's going on?" Lulu asked.

"Nothing," Johnny said, looking away.

"Don't do that," Lulu said, walking away from him.

"What?" Johnny questioned.

"Don't keep secrets," Lulu pleaded. "I don't understand why you don't trust me. What did I do that made you want to shut me out?"

"I'm not shutting you out," Johnny replied. "Come here, please. Can we just forget this conversation? I love you and I trust you and that's all I want to think about."

"I don't know if I believe you," Lulu said sadly.

"You don't believe that I love you?" Johnny asked, his hurt evident.

"That's not what I meant," Lulu answered. "I don't know if I believe you trust me. Just tell me what's going on. Why would you move back to Crimson Pointe? You hated that house, you hated the business and you hated that life. I don't understand why you would go back to it."

"Will you please just come here?" Johnny begged, reaching his hand to her.

Lulu slowly moved across the room and sat facing him on the bed. He ran his fingers through her hair and closed his eyes. She knew he was going to say something important and he needed strength from her, but she didn't want to give it. She had a feeling that this wasn't going to be good news. He leaned up and kissed her forehead and then found her eyes.

"I love you," he breathed. "I love that you know me better than I know myself. I love the way you fight for me. I hope you can support me and love me through what I've decided because I know I will love you no matter what comes next."

"What did you decide?" Lulu prodded.

"I'm taking over my father's business," Johnny whispered.


	2. Not the Way We Planned

A/N – Okay, given the comments to chapter one, I think I'll just apologize in advance. I know it's heavy angst, but trust me. I have a plan and the plan is good. :) Even if you hate it, let me know. The more feedback, the faster I update!

**Chapter 2 – Not the Way We Planned**

Lulu didn't know what to say. He had been lying to her from day one. Johnny was a Zacchara. He wanted all of what came with being a Zacchara. He wanted the business and the power and the money. She finally looked into his eyes and her heart broke. He was staring at her with so much hope and there was none. She loved Johnny, but she refused to support him taking over a business that had taken so much from him.

"Lu?" Johnny prodded. "Yell at me or something. Don't just sit there. I need to know what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that," Lulu breathed. "I don't know what to think."

"Do you hate me?" Johnny asked and Lulu instantly shook her head. "Are you going to leave me?"

"I don't know how I could stay," Lulu answered with tears in her eyes.

"How could you not?" Johnny countered. "We love each other. That's all we need."

"No it's not," Lulu cried. "I need to be able to trust you and I can't anymore."

"Please don't say that," Johnny begged.

"It's true," Lulu said softly. "You lied. You told me you didn't want this life. You told me you wanted out and that all you wanted was me, but that's not true. I don't understand."

"I do want a life with you," Johnny promised. "More than anything."

"Then walk away," Lulu pleaded.

"You're asking me to choose?" Johnny questioned.

"I never thought I would have to," Lulu whispered. "But I guess I am."

"I guess you lied to me too, then," Johnny muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Lulu demanded.

"You told me over and over that all you wanted was to be with me," Johnny answered. "But you don't want to be with me unless I'm being the person you want me to be."

"I can't believe you just said that to me," Lulu replied.

"What am I supposed to think, Lulu?" Johnny wondered. "You love me, but not enough to support me in my decision. Maybe that's not lying, but it's sure not telling the whole truth."

"You can think whatever you want," Lulu yelled. "I guess I know what your choice is."

"I don't want to choose," Johnny said quietly.

"You can't have both," Lulu responded. "What means more to you?"

"That's not fair," Johnny whispered. "You know you're the most important thing in the world to me."

"Then why is it so hard to choose?" Lulu asked.

"You're asking me to walk away from everything my father built," Johnny answered. "Do you even know what that means?"

"It means being free," Lulu said through her tears. "I thought you wanted that."

"I'm free because my father's gone," Johnny reasoned.

"I know what the business does to people," Lulu muttered. "If you take over, you'll never be free."

"What's happening, Lu?" Johnny wondered. "If I don't choose you in this moment, I never see you again? Is that how it's going to be?"

"I'm sorry, Johnny," Lulu sobbed. "I don't know how it can be any other way."

"I love you," Johnny breathed. "I always will."

"But?" Lulu questioned.

"But," Johnny said, tears forming in his eyes. "I have to take over my father's business. I want you with me every step of the way, but I understand why you can't do that."

Lulu's tears streamed down her face and she had to turn away from him. She loved him more than she thought she was capable of, but she wouldn't watch him throw his life away. She had to walk away and hope that leaving was what it took to make Johnny change his mind.

"I can't be with you, Johnny," Lulu said without turning to face him. "I'm sorry."

Lulu left the room and made it to the stairwell before she collapsed in sobs. This was the last thing she expected when she came to visit Johnny today. Everything she and Johnny had talked about was thrown away. She had spent the last few months planning a life with someone who didn't want that life. She didn't know what came next. All she knew was her heart had just been ripped from her chest.

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Johnny was staring at the door, willing Lulu to come back. To say she loved him. He needed her to love him. He kicked himself for letting her walk out the door. For not making her understand. He needed her to understand. Slowly, his eyes closed in defeat.

She wasn't coming back. She wasn't going to love him anymore. She wasn't going to understand.

He picked up his empty breakfast tray and hurled it against the wall. He began grabbing every loose item he could get his hands on and threw them around the room. He destroyed his room, but he couldn't get rid of his anger. Without Lulu, he didn't know who he was. Now he was without her forever and nothing could make that better. Lulu walking away had shattered his heart into a million pieces and she was the only one who could fix it.

But she wasn't coming back.

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Lulu sat in her car outside of Lucky's house. She had told him she might come to Thanksgiving dinner, but to not be surprised if she didn't show. She hadn't expected to go. She expected to be curled up in Johnny's arms in the hospital laughing and being happy. Nothing ever happened the way she expected it to. She slowly got out of her car and headed to the front door.

"Lulu!" Lucky exclaimed as she walked through the door. "I'm glad you made it."

"Aunt Lulu!" Cameron squealed.

"Hey buddy," Lulu smiled at Cameron before looking to Lucky. "I'm glad I'm here too."

"I haven't seen you in awhile," Nikolas said, giving her a hug. "How have you been?"

"Great," Lulu lied. She didn't have the energy to tell anyone about her broken heart.

"Good," Nikolas replied. "I'm sorry I misjudged Johnny without knowing him. Maybe he'll be out of the hospital in time for Christmas and he can come and we can all get to know him."

"He's probably getting out next week," Lulu offered.

"I bet you're excited," Lucky responded.

"It's a relief," Lulu stated. "But I don't want to talk about me. Tell me about you guys. I haven't really seen you lately."

"My life is pretty boring," Nikolas said honestly. "Spending time with Spencer and working."

"Where is Spence?" Lulu asked.

"He wasn't feeling well," Nikolas answered.

"That's terrible," Lulu sympathized. "Especially on Thanksgiving."

"I know," Nikolas agreed. "Maybe you could get out to see him sometime soon. I bet that would make him feel better."

"I will," Lulu promised before turning to Lucky. "What about you?"

"Mainly working," Lucky answered. "I wanted to take the boys on a little camping trip, but it got cold too early this year. We'll have to wait until spring."

"I'm sure they'll like that," Lulu offered.

"I love camping," Cameron smiled.

"What's your favorite part?" Lulu wondered.

"The scary stories," Cameron laughed and Lulu's heart clenched.

Johnny loved the scary stories his mom used to tell him when they went camping. Lulu couldn't stop herself from imagining Johnny taking Cameron to the clearing to go camping. She saw Johnny tell Cameron the same story he had told her before their first kiss and tears gathered in her eyes. She fought them back and stood up.

"I think I better go check on the food," Lulu smirked. "I'm afraid to think about what Lucky is going to feed us."

"You can't cook," Nikolas pointed out and another memory of Johnny came to her mind.

"Sure I can," Lulu said quickly before ducking into the kitchen.

She ran a hand over her face in an effort to control her emotions. Maybe going to Thanksgiving dinner was a bad idea.


	3. The Secret Plan

A/N – I really don't have much to say about this chapter other than hopefully after you read it, you hate me a little less. :) Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 3 – The Secret Plan**

Jason walked the halls of the hospital. He saw some rooms with patients alone and some with family pouring into the halls. He assumed that Lulu would be with Johnny, but he thought he would check just in case. He didn't want Johnny to be alone on a holiday, so he made the trip. He came to the window of his room and peered inside. It was obvious something bad had happened.

"What happened here?" Jason asked, stepping into the room.

"I couldn't lie to her anymore," Johnny shook his head. "Or at least not about going back to the business."

"Do you want to go back on our agreement?" Jason wondered.

"I want Lulu," Johnny sighed. "She's all I ever wanted."

"I know," Jason said quietly.

"I knew this would happen," Johnny muttered. "I knew I would lose her if I did this. Maybe if I tell her the whole truth..."

"You know you can't, Johnny," Jason replied. "It would put her in too much danger."

"How much do I have to give up in my life?" Johnny questioned.

"You're not giving her up," Jason responded. "Once it's over and you tell her the truth, she'll understand. She will forgive you. You know Lulu as well as anyone. You know I'm right."

"I thought I knew her," Johnny breathed. "You didn't see her eyes when I told her. She hated me. She accused me of lying to her throughout our entire relationship. I don't think she believes I love her anymore."

"She knows you love her," Jason offered. "If you want out of the deal, I would understand."

"I can't back out of the deal," Johnny said firmly. "It's the only way to make it all go away."

"Johnny," Jason warned. "What if it doesn't go away? Then you do lose her for good."

"I know," Johnny said softly. "What do you think?"

"I think we have a good plan," Jason answered. "You get complete control of your father's organization. Once you have every asset and have Anthony convinced you're on his side, you sell to me and you're out of the business completely."

"The only wild card is," Johnny observed. "What if my father doesn't tell me everything? What if he finds a way to come after me when I betray him?"

"Right," Jason replied. "So, what do you think?"

"I think that I want Lulu safe," Johnny responded. "Which probably means I have to let her go for good no matter what happens with our plan."

Jason watched as Johnny buried his face in his hands. This kid did not deserve the life he was born into. He had suffered through more than most and still, somehow turned out okay. He deserved to get to be with the woman he loved. Lulu deserved to get to be with him too. That's why he had developed this plan in the first place and approached Johnny with it. He wanted to help them be happy, safe and free together.

"I know how much you love Lulu," Jason started. "I know how much she loves you. It would just hurt both of you for you to be apart. Maybe you can just refuse to take over the business and go under my protection. Then you could be with Lulu and be safe."

"We would never be safe," Johnny yelled. He was right and Jason knew it.

"What do you want to do?" Jason asked.

"We go on with the plan," Johnny muttered.

"What about Lulu?" Jason wondered.

"I don't know yet," Johnny admitted. "I have to think about it."

"Maybe you can tell her the truth," Jason thought. "Maybe that is what's best."

"Maybe," Johnny agreed.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Jason offered.

"Thanks," Johnny smiled. "You too."

Jason picked up Johnny's room so none of the nurses would see he had been upset. He left the room silently and headed for the elevators. Johnny was in an impossible situation. One that Jason knew well. How do you give up the person you love for their own safety? And if you do it, can you live the rest of your life with that decision?

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Lucky walked into the kitchen and found Lulu sitting at the table with her head in her hands. He didn't know what had happened before she came to the house, but judging by her demeanor since she had been there, it wasn't good.

"Lu?" Lucky asked, touching her shoulder.

"Hey," Lulu said, giving him a fake smile and wiping her eyes. "Sorry, I'm not being very sociable."

"It's okay," Lucky replied. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Lulu lied.

"It's something," Lucky argued. "I thought you would spend the day with Johnny and since you're not and you're crying, I would say that something is that you two had a fight."

"I think we broke up," Lulu muttered.

"You think?" Lucky wondered.

"Well," Lulu sighed. "I walked out and told him I couldn't be with him. I think that's breaking up."

"Maybe I'm stupid," Lucky chuckled. "But I don't get it. You two have been together for months and you've been putting your life in danger just to be with him. Why would you break up now that he's free?"

"It doesn't make a lot of sense to me either," Lulu said with tears filling her eyes again.

"What am I missing, Lulu?" Lucky prodded.

"Johnny isn't free," Lulu whispered.

"Did his father threaten him from prison?" Lucky questioned.

"He didn't have to," Lulu answered. "That's the worst part. Johnny lied to me every time he said he wanted out of the business."

"He's staying in the mob?" Lucky asked and Lulu just nodded. "And you broke up with him because of it?"

"I didn't want to," Lulu mumbled. "I begged him to choose me instead, but he wouldn't. I didn't have a choice. I've seen what the mob does to people. I can't sit around and watch that happen to him. I love him too much."

"What did he say?" Lucky wondered.

"That he had to take over his father's business," Lulu replied.

"Why?" Lucky continued.

"I don't know," Lulu sighed. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"I think it does," Lucky commented.

"What do you mean?" Lulu asked.

"I never really got to know Johnny," Lucky started. "But this doesn't add up to me. I think there is something you don't know and until you do know, you shouldn't just give up on what you had with him. You love him and he loves you. That goes a long way."

"I can't believe this," Lulu laughed sarcastically. "You're telling me to give a member of the mob the benefit of the doubt. I never thought I would see the day."

"It is a little surprising," Lucky said, laughing as well. "But this whole experience with Johnny and Anthony has taught me a few things. The most important one being that I have to let you live your own life and trust and support whatever you decide. So that's what I'm going to do."

"Thanks, Lucky," Lulu smiled.

"You're welcome, Lu," Lucky replied.

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Johnny just sat in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He honestly had no idea what to do. He didn't know how to live his life without Lulu because without her, he had no purpose. Nothing to hope for. The only thing worse he could imagine was Lulu being killed because of him. That was something he couldn't survive.

If he told Lulu the truth about why he was staying in the business, she would stay with him. She loved him the same way he loved her. But he didn't know if he wanted her with him while he was in the business. He wanted her alive and safe and he couldn't guarantee that. He knew this was the most important decision he would ever make and that fact made the decision even more difficult.

When he thought about the decision he had to make, one thing stayed in his mind. Johnny had always been honest with Lulu before. They had made every decision about their relationship together and they had survived so far. Why would things be any different now? He needed to tell her the truth and let her decide what she could handle.

He already knew what he could handle and being without Lulu was not on the list.


	4. Thinking it Through

A/N – Alright, here is the update! Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 4 – Thinking It Through**

Lulu watched as Lucky piled Cameron's plate with all of his favorite Thanksgiving foods. Turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. Cameron looked so happy and carefree. Nikolas started to tickle him and he laughed uncontrollably. The sound made Lulu smile and laugh too. It also broke her heart slightly.

She hadn't realized it until that moment, but she wanted family moments with Johnny. She wanted Johnny to be the uncle that was tickling Cameron. Maybe even for Nikolas to tickle a nephew that was her son with Johnny. A little boy that had dark hair and chocolate eyes just like his daddy. Lulu found herself picturing a family with Johnny and she had to stop herself. Those kind of thoughts only brought pain.

"Pass the yams, Lu," Lucky requested.

Lulu passed the dish and smiled at Cameron who was eying his food with excitement. He was waiting for everyone to serve themselves like the well-mannered child that he was and Lulu realized her plate was still empty. She piled some food on her plate and just as everyone began to eat the front door opened.

"Where's the grub?" Luke called, walking into the dining room.

"Dad?" Lucky asked in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"I decided to visit Port Chuck for the holidays," Luke beamed. "And of course visit my lovely children."

"Where have you been all this time?" Lulu wondered.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Luke laughed. "Is there enough food for your old man?"

"Of course, dad," Lucky smiled.

"Nikolas," Luke greeted.

"Hey, Luke," Nikolas replied. "I'm glad you could make it."

Lulu ate in silence as everyone chatted and laughed with Luke. She wasn't exactly glad to see her father. He had been gone for so long and she was tired of him just showing up whenever he felt like it. The last thing she needed after her argument with Johnny was her father to pop into her life for a few months. She ate her food quickly and then stood.

"What are you doing?" Lucky asked.

"I'm going to go," Lulu answered. "I'm really tired and I need to make a stop on my way home."

"Home?" Luke questioned. "You don't live here anymore?"

"No," Lulu responded. "In all the months you were gone, things changed."

"Cupcake," Luke said, following Lulu to the door. "I understand being angry with me, but you should stay for your brothers."

"I'm not really angry with you," Lulu replied. "I have a lot going on and I need to deal with it. How long are you in town for?"

"At least through Christmas," Luke stated.

"Good," Lulu smiled. "We'll catch up later."

"Okay," Luke nodded. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving," Lulu said, leaving the house.

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Johnny was really hoping Lulu would come back. He wanted to tell her the truth and make things right. He already missed her and he needed her to come back so they could fix things. He thought his dreams were coming true, but when he looked to the opening door he saw Trevor coming in. He rolled his eyes and then prepared himself for what he had to do.

"What are you doing here?" Johnny asked.

"I've just come from seeing your father," Trevor replied.

"How is he?" Johnny questioned, feigning concern. He had to start his lies immediately.

"He's doing okay," Trevor answered. "Better than I expected, honestly."

"Good," Johnny responded. "I assume he sent you here."

"Yes," Trevor nodded. "He wants me to offer you control of his business."

"That's surprising," Johnny said softly. "I thought he would call me a traitor and order a hit on me."

"You're his son, John," Trevor chided. "He built this business for you to take over. He thinks now is the time."

"Wow," Johnny breathed. "So what is happening?"

"You're taking over," Trevor sighed. "Unless you refuse."

"He really thinks I'm ready?" Johnny wondered. "To have full control?"

"Not full control," Trevor shook his head. "He wants you to take over parts to begin with and me take care of other things. You'll gain more control as you go. When you're ready, you'll take over completely."

"Maybe I'm ready to be fully in control," Johnny smirked.

"We both know that's not true," Trevor laughed.

"I'm ready enough to be in charge," Johnny said firmly. "Anything to keep you out of power."

"I'm not in power, John," Trevor replied. "Anthony gives me orders and I follow them."

"Am I supposed to follow his orders too?" Johnny asked.

"I'm sure he'll offer you suggestions," Trevor answered.

"Alright," Johnny nodded. "Tell my father that I will take over on one condition. I am in complete control within six months. None of this dragging his feet and saying I'm not ready when I am. I will take his suggestions for those six months but after that, the only advice he gives is the kind I ask for."

"What if your father takes back his offer?" Trevor questioned.

"He won't," Johnny said confidently. "He wants me in charge because he knows you would push your own agenda and run his business into the ground. He needs me."

"Don't overestimate your position," Trevor warned.

"Same goes for you," Johnny responded.

"I'll speak with your father and get back to you," Trevor said, standing.

"Make it quick," Johnny ordered. "I want to be able to take over Monday when I get out of here."

Trevor just nodded and exited the room. Johnny had laid the ground work like he was supposed to. Everything was going according to his and Jason's plan. The only thing he needed was Lulu. He needed her to understand his decision and support him. He needed her strength to fool his father and Trevor. He needed her by his side.

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Lulu knocked on Jason's door and waited for him to answer. She didn't know what to say to him, but her feet had led her to his penthouse. Maybe he could explain Johnny's actions to her from the mob point of view. He opened the door and she walked inside, talking as she went.

"I know a lot about the business because I grew up around it," Lulu began. "I know that loyalty to family and people you consider family is really important. Probably most important actually. I know all of this, but I still don't understand why Johnny would show loyalty to a man who tried to kill him and me. I mean that makes no sense. Anthony obviously didn't have loyalty to him."

"Lulu, slow down," Jason soothed.

"I can't," Lulu yelled. "I can't slow down my brain because I am desperate to understand why he would do that. I didn't want to ask him to choose, but I thought if I did, he would choose me. But he didn't. He let me go and now I am heartbroken. Did I do the wrong thing by walking out? He probably needs me right now, but I can't be there for him through this. I can't watch him be consumed by the business. I don't know what to do."

"You need to breathe," Jason advised. "Let me see if I have this right. Johnny is going to take over his father's business, but you didn't want him to. You broke up with him because of it and you're wondering if you made the wrong choice. Is that right?"

"Yes," Lulu breathed. "What do you think?"

"I think you got upset and walked out in the heat of the moment," Jason answered. "I think you need to do what your heart tells you to do."

"My heart belongs to Johnny," Lulu replied. "It's biased."

"Talk to him again," Jason advised. "He might have changed his mind. If nothing else, it's always best to give yourself a chance to change your decision now. You may not have that chance later."

"What if talking to him again doesn't change anything?" Lulu wondered.

"It will change something," Jason promised. "But it might make it worse, not better."

"Why should I risk it?" Lulu asked.

"Could you live with yourself if you you didn't?" Jason countered and Lulu shook her head. "Then go. It's Thanksgiving. Maybe you will get a holiday miracle."

"I thought those happened on Christmas," Lulu smirked.

"I'm not an expert on what holiday the miracles come on," Jason laughed. "But I figure if it's supposed to be Christmas, yours can come early."

"Thanks, Jason," Lulu smiled. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too," Jason responded. "Good luck with Johnny."

"Thanks," Lulu replied.

Lulu walked out of the penthouse and into the elevator. Her stomach was full of nerves. She didn't know what would happen when she visited Johnny again. She was hoping it would change everything. That maybe he had changed his mind and they could still have the future they had talked about.

Maybe their love could survive after all.


	5. Working It Out

A/N – Another night over with! I know this one was short and full of angst, but hopefully it was still enjoyable! I am wondering what the readers want to see with Johnny in this series. Do you want him to successfully get out of the mob or do you want to see him stay in and work with Jason? Or do you have any other ideas of things you want to see in the series? Just let me know and I will consider any suggestions! I want everyone to enjoy what I write, so your opinions are important to me! Okay, enough chatter! Happy reading!

**Chapter 5 – Working It Out**

Lulu stood outside of Johnny's hospital room. She had no idea what to say. She didn't even know if he wanted to see her. Maybe seeing him again tonight was a mistake. She almost walked away, but she stopped herself. She had to talk to him. Lulu took a deep breath and entered the room. Johnny was staring at the ceiling and didn't seem to hear her come in.

"Hi," Lulu muttered and Johnny's head snapped towards her.

"You came back," Johnny said in relief.

"I think it's a safe choice," Lulu answered. "Being close to you keeps me from thinking clearly."

"I don't know if that's an insult or a compliment," Johnny mumbled.

"It seemed like the right thing to do," Lulu nodded.

"Are you going to stand across the room the whole time you're here?" Johnny wondered.

"Maybe a little bit of both," Lulu offered.

"Well at the risk to your clear thinking," Johnny started. "Will you please come sit down? You're making me nervous standing so close to the door."

"Why does that make you nervous?" Lulu asked.

"I'm afraid you're going to run out again," Johnny whispered.

"I'm sorry about before," Lulu replied. "I know I must have upset you and I didn't mean to."

"I'm the one who's sorry," Johnny responded. "I didn't explain the right way."

"Is there a right way to explain?" Lulu questioned.

"I wasn't completely honest with you," Johnny said softly. "Please, sit."

"Okay," Lulu agreed, walking close to the bed and sitting down.

"Thanks," Johnny smiled.

"So what do you mean you weren't completely honest with me?" Lulu asked.

"I wanted to keep you safe and telling you the truth would put you in danger," Johnny explained. "But when you left, I realized that wasn't the right thing to do. We're always honest with each other and that shouldn't change."

"I agree," Lulu said slowly. She wondered what exactly Johnny had lied about.

"Jason came to me a couple of weeks ago," Johnny began. "He asked me what I was planning to do in the future. I told him my only plan was to be with you. He told me if I wanted it, I had a job with him."

"And you turned him down because you wanted to be in charge?" Lulu wondered.

"No," Johnny shook his head. "I never lied to you about not wanting to be in the business, Lu. That's why I turned him down. I honestly didn't give a thought to what would become of my father's business until Jason brought it up. He asked me who was taking over and I didn't know. He wanted to know what I told my father when he contacted me. I had no idea what he was talking about."

"I'm lost," Lulu responded. Johnny was talking in circles and it was making her nervous.

"I was at first, too," Johnny laughed. "Basically, Jason told me that my father would want me to take over. I told him I wanted no part of it and I wouldn't do it. But then he told me that refusing my father might put you in danger, which was the last thing I wanted. So Jason came up with a plan."

"You take over the business to keep me safe?" Lulu asked. "But that's not what you want."

"Taking over was only the beginning of the plan," Johnny continued. "After I take over and get complete control of the business, I sell out to Jason and leave the business for good. Then we have our life together."

"Is it that simple?" Lulu questioned, trying to hide her fear.

"I hope it is," Johnny replied. "The variable is that my father might hold power he doesn't tell me about. So when I betray him, he could come after me. Or worse, you."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Lucky waited outside the door of Jason's penthouse. He knocked a second time and the door finally opened. Jason looked surprised, but moved so Lucky could enter.

"I figured my sister came to see you," Lucky said, walking into the room. "I was wondering if she was okay."

"What did she tell you?" Jason asked.

"She said she had a pretty bad fight with Johnny about him taking over his father's business and they were probably breaking up," Lucky answered.

"That's what she told me," Jason responded. "I told her not to make a hasty decision and to talk to Johnny again."

"I feel like she's missing a piece of the puzzle," Lucky said, shaking his head. "Like more is going on than she knows about."

"Can you keep a secret?" Jason wondered. "I mean a mob secret. Which means right now I need to be talking to Lulu's brother and not Officer Spencer."

"I can keep a secret," Lucky nodded.

"Johnny doesn't want to take over his father's business," Jason started. "I asked him to do it."

"Why?" Lucky questioned.

"It's complicated," Jason said before explaining the plan to Lucky.

"Wow," Lucky breathed. "Why didn't he just tell Lu all of that?"

"I told him he shouldn't," Jason replied. "The more people who know, the less likely it is for the plan to work. But when I saw Johnny today after he talked to her, I told him to tell her if he wanted. I had never seen him so broken."

"That's why you told Lulu to go see him again," Lucky said, nodding in understanding. "So why tell me all of this?"

"It makes sense that the police would go after the Zacchara organization now," Jason answered. "Their leader is in jail and they're weak. I was hoping maybe you could keep the heat off until Johnny can turn things over to me."

"Because the last thing Lulu needs is her boyfriend going to jail," Lucky concluded.

"Right," Jason said softly. "Do you think you can help us out?"

"What you're asking me to do is illegal," Lucky responded.

"I know," Jason muttered. "But I'm hoping you do it anyway."

"I'd do anything for my sister," Lucky smiled. "How long do you think it will take?"

"We're hoping only a few months," Jason answered.

"It's strange being on the same side," Lucky acknowledged.

"Hopefully we can stay that way for awhile," Jason replied.

Lucky nodded and left the penthouse. Jason wondered if he had done the right thing. Bringing Lucky into the mix was dangerous, but having someone on the inside would greatly improve the chances of making the plan successful.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Johnny was waiting for Lulu to say something. He had done his best to explain everything to her. All the details of Jason's plan and his reasoning for going along with it. Also the danger that came with going with the plan. He was desperately hoping she would understand and stay with him, but he wasn't so sure she would respond that way. He wasn't sure she was ever going to respond at all.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Johnny offered, hoping Lulu would speak. "If you still don't want to be with me I guess I would understand. But I want you with me. I've always wanted you with me. You know that right?"

"Of course," Lulu smiled. "I know how you feel about me."

"But it's not enough is it?" Johnny asked, trying to hide his emotions.

"It's funny," Lulu said laughing.

"What is?" Johnny questioned in confusion.

"The way you always assume the worst," Lulu laughed. "I couldn't handle being away from you for three hours. How could I leave you for trying to do what's best for us?"

"You're not leaving?" Johnny wondered hopefully.

"I love you," Lulu smiled. "I need you in my life. I know this won't be easy, but I'm in. Whatever it takes to be with you."

"I love you too," Johnny breathed. "And you're right. It's not going to be easy."

"What are we going to do?" Lulu asked. "Can we be together in public now?"

"I think so," Johnny answered. "I mean my father was the risk and he already knows about us. Plus you being here with me for so long has kind of outed us."

"Do you wish I had stayed away?" Lulu smirked.

"Of course not," Johnny replied. "I don't know if I would have made it through the month in the hospital without you."

"It's behind us now," Lulu said, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Are you staying the night?" Johnny wondered.

"Of course," Lulu responded.

"Good," Johnny said, kissing her quickly.

"What about where you're going to live?" Lulu asked, climbing into bed.

"I told you I'm living at Crimson Pointe," Johnny responded.

"I know," Lulu sighed. "I was just wondering if that was an every night thing. I mean you've spoiled me."

"What?" Johnny laughed.

"I like sleeping next to you," Lulu pouted. "It makes me feel safe."

"I don't plan to stop spending nights with you," Johnny promised. "I can stay at your place or you can stay with me. We can sneak off to the cabin for weekends. Whatever is most convenient."

"Can we really do that?" Lulu asked. "You're going to be so busy with this plan and I don't want to get in the way. I mean if you're distracted, things are more dangerous."

"It will take a lot of my time," Johnny admitted. "But I'm not letting anything come between us. Not anymore. We'll be together no matter what."

Lulu made herself comfortable in Johnny's arms and they fell into a calm silence. Johnny got lost in the pattern of her breathing. He felt safe with her too. She saved him from his father and from a life full of pain and emptiness. He was so happy that he had been honest with Lulu and grateful that she somehow, again, found the courage to stay with him.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Johnny muttered, running his fingers through Lulu's hair.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Lulu whispered, her chin resting on Johnny's chest.

"I have a lot to be thankful for," Johnny noted. "But I'm mostly thankful for you. You're so amazing, Lulu. I love you so much."

"I'm thankful for you, too," Lulu smiled. "Thankful that I get to love you and that you love me back."

"Always," Johnny swore. "I will always love you."

"Right back at you," Lulu breathed, connecting her lips with his.

Johnny smiled as Lulu kissed him. The night that had started so horribly ended the way he wanted to end every night for the rest of his life. With Lulu. He didn't know what would happen with his plan to bring down his father's business, but as long as he had Lulu in his arms he knew he could do anything.


End file.
